People That Matters

We Norwegians just love our Christmas TV-shows! Can't say I've indulged myself in the latest contributions to the genre, mainly because I don't have a functional television, but this year comes one I'm twisting my balls to see. Our very own Espen Hobbesland has in all his sneakiness prepared an alternative Christmas calendar, just for our pleasure.

Jesper: "So Espen, what caused your sudden move into the reindeer-business?"
Espen: "Well Jesper, you know... I've just gotten the details for my home exam, fresh from the typo. There's also this masters degree which I haven't really started yet, and I just felt... What's the word? I felt... You know, like I had to much spare time."
Jesper: "Yeah, I know the feeling. Kind of like why I'm writing this mindlessly long blog post instead of reading for my Italian exam, which I am gonna fail?"
Espen: "Kind of like that."
Jesper: "Right, but what's the deal really? What's this calendar really about? Who is it intended for? What do you gain from it all?"
Espen: "Whoa... That's a lot of questions... I haven't really put that much thought into it you know. Just... Just felt like it. If you know what I mean?"
Jesper: "I sure do. Kind of like why I'm writing this mindlessly long bl..."
Espen: "Yeah yeah, we know! This mindlessly long blog post instead of... Yeah, like that!"
Jesper: "Ok! I'm just trying to make a point here! You don't have to be all snappy about it... But there has got to be some reason why you decided to do this cra..."
Espen: "This what!?"
Jesper: "What?"
Espen: "You were saying what!?"
Jesper: "What?... Me?"
Espen: "Yeah you!"
Jesper: "..."
Espen: "Wha... What is going on here!? Of course you, you dumb testicle!"
Jesper: "Oh... Me!"
Espen: "What the...?"
Jesper: "Oh, I meant nothing. Just, you know... Cra... Cra-cra-cra. Like the bird."
Espen: "...?"
Jesper: "Well! Let us just say that you made the show for all the numb-nuts out there who has, like me, grown tired of those same-disgusting-chocolate-behind-the-hatch-every-fucking-time-calendars! Right? For those interested, just follow the link at the bottom of this post. This is Jesper, and you are watching People That Matters on Paper Garden! Tune in for next weeks show!"
Espen: "F*** **f!"

This turned out rather longer than I expected. Just so you know, everything you just read was purely fictional, with the exception of a few facts. There is going to be a Cristmas TV-show and Espen Hobbesland is the main coordinator. As promised, here is the link:

MedHumRevyens Julekalender 2009

And it really is the best one I've seen in quite a while. I should know, I helped film it. It has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas but it sure is funny. Enjoy!

Laws of the day: Florida

If you intend to have sex in Florida be sure to use the missionary position, as everything else is illegal. You should also be aware that any child that may be conceived during the act cannot be swapped for money. If you tie your elephant to a parking meter you have to pay for it, just like you would with a car. You should also avoid having sexual interaction with hedgehogs.

Totally mad, but beautiful

Same procedure as last year miss Sophie? Same procedure as every year James! This film might not have singing reindeers in it, but it does have dead seagulls. It's produced by the same guys that made the last one, and is equally mad and beautiful. If you feel like it I would recommend a quick skim through their video archive on Vimeo, as it is one quite out of the ordinary.

Laws of the day: Connecticut

In Hartford, the capital of Connecticut, men are prohibited to kiss their wives on Sundays. Pedestrians also risk a solid fine if they try to cross the road on their hands.

Beautiful, but totally mad

This is the wierdest thing I have seen on Vimeo for quite a while. The cinematography is awesome, but the content is just completely off the hook! No meaning at all. Loved it! Just have a look and see if you can get anything logical out of the experience. And press the HD button, I'm not kidding when I say it's beautiful.

Laws of the day: Denver

In Denver it's illegal to borrow your neighbors vacuum cleaner.

I've got mail

You know that swooping sensation rushing through your body when you discover that the biggest envelope in the mailbox actually is for you? A couple of weeks ago this package lay waiting for me in my mum's mailbox, and the swooping still hasn't stopped.

Thank you for the most heartwarming gift ever to find its way into my mum's mailbox. I would also like to delegate a swift kick in the balls to the Norwegian Postal Service, who in spite of thorough instructions on how to handle the package, still managed to break every cookie in the box.